Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
