OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
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