Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
