Christians are straight up FREAKS
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
