There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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