When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
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