i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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