If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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