Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
