Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
