At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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