sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
