Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
