I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
