Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
