Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
