If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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