You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
if i can run in heels then i can drive
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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