Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
