I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
