One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
