end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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