I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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