I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
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