Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Randomize
