White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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