Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
