Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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