Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
