is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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