i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
