im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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