so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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