YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
