ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
