dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
