Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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