her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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