girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I need moral support for this bender
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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