This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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