I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
