we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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