gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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