end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
