In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
where does the pee come out of this thing
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
