loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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