Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
