The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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