You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
