...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
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